Navigating Homeschool & Public School Tensions in the Church

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Hello, friends. Today’s podcast question is such an important one. It says:

"There is a lot of tension at my church between homeschooling moms and moms who send their kids to public school. Both camps seem to feel like the other is judging them, but it doesn't seem like it should be that way in the body of Christ. Can you offer some suggestions for how to think and live biblically in this situation?"

I am so grateful this question came in because this is something I’ve seen time and time again. In many churches, public school moms feel judged for not homeschooling, and homeschooling moms sometimes feel like public school moms don’t want anything to do with them. This tension creates a cycle that repeats itself, often unaddressed, lingering just beneath the surface.

But as the person who submitted this question pointed out, this is not how it should be within the body of Christ. So how can homeschooling moms, public school moms, and everyone in between truly get along in the same church and reflect the unity we are called to in Christ?

That’s what we’re diving into today on the Foundation Worldview Podcast, where we seek to answer your questions so you can equip the children God has placed in your care to carefully evaluate every idea they encounter and understand the truth of the biblical worldview.

I’m your host, Elizabeth Urbanowicz, and I’m thrilled you’ve joined me for this episode. If you’ve found this podcast beneficial, would you take just a second to rate and review it? It’s been a while since we’ve had any new ratings, and sometimes I wonder, “Is anyone actually listening?” So, if you’d be willing to help me out with that, I’d greatly appreciate it. And if you’re watching on YouTube, don’t forget to like and subscribe so you don’t miss any future episodes.

Why Does This Tension Exist?

Before we can talk about how to live biblically in this situation, we need to ask an important question: Why does this tension exist in the first place? If we can answer that, we can get to the root of the issue. As I thought through this, I identified three key reasons:

1. Pride – We naturally view our choices as superior to others.
2. Idolatry – We place our identity in our parenting rather than in Christ.
3. The Enemy – Satan loves to sow discord among believers.

Let’s walk through each of these.

1. Pride

As humans, we have a natural tendency to believe our choices are the best choices. This happens in all areas of life—food choices, where we live, how we spend our time, and yes, how we educate our children.

Jesus addressed this attitude in Luke 18:9-14 when He told the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. The Pharisee thanked God that he was not like other men, boasting in his own righteousness, while the tax collector humbly asked for mercy. Jesus made it clear that the humble one—the one who recognized his own need—was justified before God.

Even as Christians, we can easily slip into this Pharisee-like thinking. If we’re not careful, we start seeing those who educate their children differently as “less than” rather than as fellow image-bearers who are seeking to steward their children well.

2. Idolatry

Another reason for this tension is idolatry. We place our identity in our accomplishments—in this case, in our parenting—rather than in Christ.

When we do this, someone making a different choice feels like a threat. We either fear we haven’t made the best decision and feel the need to justify ourselves, or we fear that someone else’s choice somehow diminishes the value of our own. But in John 21:18-22, when Peter asked Jesus about John’s future, Jesus essentially told him, “That’s not your concern. You follow me.”

The same is true for us. Our job is to follow Jesus in the way He has called us to parent and educate our children—not to compare ourselves to others.

3. The Enemy

Finally, we need to recognize that Satan wants to divide the church. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that “your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” If he can create division among believers over something like school choice, he is winning.

Jesus said that the world will know we are His disciples by our love for one another. So if Satan can get us to turn against each other, he is effectively damaging the witness of the church.

Is School Choice a Matter of Sin?

Now, let’s be clear: In most cases, school choice is a matter of wisdom, not sin. Parents are deciding what is best for their children and their family in their particular situation.

That being said, there are cases where an educational choice can be entered into or handled sinfully. For example, years ago, I was leading a small group for high school girls. I discovered that one of the girls in my group—who was homeschooled—was completely illiterate. It wasn’t due to a learning disability; it was because her mother had simply given up on homeschooling and wasn’t teaching her. This was neglect, and it was sin.

On the other hand, parents who send their children to public school but do nothing to address the secular worldviews being taught are also leaving their child unprepared to live faithfully as a Christian. This, too, is sin.

If we see a clear case of sin, we should lovingly confront it as brothers and sisters in Christ. But in most situations, educational choice is a wisdom issue, not a sin issue.

Practical Steps to Pursue Unity

So how can we practically live this out in our churches?

1. Evaluate your own heart – Ask God to reveal any pride or idolatry in your own thinking. If you’ve sinned against someone through judgment or unkind words, seek their forgiveness.
2. Pray for unity – Ask God to protect your church from division and to cultivate love among its members.
3. Choose to love without resentment – If you’re a homeschool mom, go out of your way to invite public school moms and their kids to events. If you’re a public school mom, invite homeschooling moms to your child’s birthday party or another gathering. Break down barriers by building relationships.
4. Be intentional in hospitality – Open your home and invite families who have made different educational choices. Get to know their children, ask intentional questions, and demonstrate that you genuinely care about them—not just about their school choice.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, our goal is not to get everyone in our church to make the same educational choices. Our goal is to love God and love others. And if God does use us to help someone rethink their decision, that will likely happen through relationship, not judgment.

I hope this episode has been helpful in thinking through how we can pursue unity in our churches. If you have a question you’d like me to answer in a future episode, you can submit it at FoundationWorldview.com/podcast.

As always, my prayer for you is that no matter the situation in which you and the children God has placed in your care find yourselves, you would trust that He is working all things together for your good by using all things to conform you more into the image of His Son.

I’ll see you next time.