Talking to Kids About Neighbors with Non-Traditional Families

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Hello, friends. Today’s podcast question says:

"Our neighbors have a non-traditional family with two transitioning transgender adults. Of the three living in the home, how do I handle this personally and with my kindergartner if he notices or asks about their family? I've been avoiding them but can't forever."

This is an important and challenging question. To clarify, the situation involves a polyamorous relationship with three adults, two of whom are transitioning genders.

Sadly, this is a reality many Christian parents are facing. Whether it’s a polyamorous relationship, a same-sex couple, or individuals transitioning genders, these situations are becoming more common. As Christians, we know we are called to love others, but navigating these relationships while guiding our children in biblical truth can feel complicated.

That’s what we’ll dive into today on the Foundation Worldview Podcast, where we seek to answer your questions so that you can equip the children God has placed in your care to carefully evaluate every idea they encounter and understand the truth of the biblical worldview.

I’m your host, Elizabeth Urbanowicz, and I’m glad you’ve joined me for this episode.

A Resource for Christian Parents

Before diving in, I want to mention a helpful resource for this exact topic. At Foundation Worldview, we have a curriculum called God’s Good Design designed for children ages four through eight. It covers:

• God’s design for identity, gender, sexuality, marriage, friendship, and family
• How sin distorts God’s good design
• How to recognize and respond to these distortions biblically

This curriculum is designed to systematically train children in the truth of Scripture, helping them develop a biblical worldview about identity and relationships.

If you’re navigating this issue with your child, I highly recommend walking through that curriculum with them.

Where to Start: Laying a Biblical Foundation

When dealing with cultural issues like this, the best place to start is by building up a positive biblical theology of gender and marriage. Instead of jumping straight to what is wrong in the world, we want to first root our children in what is true.

Here are three key Bible passages to go through with your child:

1. Genesis 1:27 – "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."
   • Truth revealed: God designed us male or female in his image.
   • Explain to your child that male means boy, and female means girl.
2. Genesis 2:24 – "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
   • Truth revealed: Marriage is one man and one woman becoming one flesh for life.
3. Ephesians 5:31-32 – "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."
   • Truth revealed: Marriage is a picture of Jesus and the church.

If you memorize and discuss these passages with your child, they will begin comparing everything they see in the world to God’s design.

Addressing Deviations from God’s Design

Once your child has a solid biblical foundation, you can introduce the idea that sin distorts God’s good design.

There are two simple truths we teach in the God’s Good Design curriculum:

1. Because of sin, feelings can trick us.
   • Example: Sometimes someone’s body reveals they are a boy, but their feelings trick them into believing they are a girl.
   • We want our children to understand that feelings can be deceptive.
2. Because of sin, people may desire the wrong kind of love in relationships.
   • Example: God designed marriage as one man and one woman. But sometimes, two men or two women may desire to be married.
   • Teach your child to evaluate relationships through God’s design:
     • Is this one man and one woman becoming one flesh for life?
     • Is this a picture of Jesus and the church?

These conversations should happen before your child encounters these issues in the world.

Training Children to Respond Wisely

It’s also crucial to train children in how to respond when they see things that go against God’s good design.

We teach three steps in the God’s Good Design curriculum:

1. Recognize what is not God’s good design.
   • Example: This is not marriage because it is not one man and one woman becoming one flesh for life.
2. Remind yourself of the truth.
   • Example: Teach your child to say to themselves:
     • Marriage is one man and one woman becoming one flesh for life.
     • God’s design is good.
3. Be kind.
   • Teach children to treat people kindly and respectfully, even when they reject God’s design.
   • Make it clear that loving someone does not mean approving of their choices.

The last thing we want is for our child to walk up to the neighbors and say, “You’re not really married.” That is not the goal. The goal is to help our child process truth internally and treat others with kindness and respect.

Final Thoughts

If this is something you’re currently navigating, I encourage you to start with Scripture and be intentional in training your child before these situations arise.

Also, if you haven’t yet checked out our God’s Good Design curriculum, I highly recommend it. It will systematically walk you and your child through these issues so they are grounded in biblical truth before they encounter the world’s distortions.

That’s a wrap for this episode, but if you have a question you’d like me to answer on a future podcast, you can submit it at FoundationWorldview.com/podcast.

We couldn’t do this podcast without your questions, so thank you to everyone who has submitted one!

As we close, my prayer for you is that no matter what situation you and the children God has placed in your care find yourselves in, you would trust that God is working all things together for your good by using all things to conform you more into the image of His Son.