When Is a Child Ready to Take Communion? A Biblical Guide for Parents

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Hello, friends. Today's podcast question is short and sweet: how do we know when our children are old enough to take communion?

This is a question we have received multiple times here at Foundation Worldview, and I think it is an important one to think through. How can we determine when our children are ready to participate in the Lord's Supper? That is the question we are going to dive into today on the Foundation Worldview Podcast, where we seek to answer your questions so that you can equip the children God has placed in your care to carefully evaluate every idea they encounter and understand the truth of the Christian worldview. I'm your host, Elizabeth Urbanowicz, and I'm thrilled that you've joined me for another episode today.

Start With the Elders at Your Church

The short answer to this question is: talk to the elders at your church. I'm going to go more in depth, because this is a podcast. But you need to start there, because your church may have specific guidelines for when children who have made a profession of faith are allowed to take communion. That is really where you need to start.

If you have submitted yourself under the authority of the elders at your church, you have submitted to their authority on who can come to the table for the Lord's Supper. If you are not currently a member of a church submitted to the authority of elders, I would highly recommend that you make finding a local church a priority.

Now, if your elders do not offer any specific guidance, or if they say the decision is yours to make as the parent, there are several questions you can ask yourself to make an informed decision for your family. If the elders at your church do not have specific guidelines for when your children can or cannot take communion, these four questions will help you make a wise decision:

1. What is communion?
2. Who should take communion?
3. How should communion be taken?
4. What do these biblical truths reveal about communion and my children?

Asking and answering those four questions will offer you some sound guidance.

Question 1: What Is Communion?

This might sound like a no-brainer, but we need to make sure our understanding of communion is anchored in Scripture. We first learn about communion, or the Lord's Supper, in all four of the Gospels. Here is one account from Luke, chapter 22, verses 14 through 20:

And when the hour came, he reclined at table, and the apostles with him. And he said to them, "I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God." And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, "Take this, and divide it among yourselves. For I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes." And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, "This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood."

From this passage, we learn that communion, or the Lord's Supper, is a remembrance of Jesus' body broken for us and his blood of the new covenant shed for us.

At the beginning of this passage, Jesus says, "I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer." He was with his disciples, and it was the Feast of Passover. For those familiar with the whole of Scripture, you know the Feast of Passover was instituted in Exodus chapter 12. The people were instructed to take a young lamb without blemish, kill it, and put the lamb's blood over the door. They were to make bread without yeast because they were about to leave Egypt in a hurry. And they were to drink wine, which reminded them of the blood of the lamb shed for them.

So here, during this Feast of Passover, which was part of the old covenant, Jesus institutes the Lord's Supper, which is the feast of the new covenant. The Lord's Supper is an ordinance, or what some call a sacrament, given to the church. I know some Protestants shy away from the word "sacrament," thinking it too Catholic. But sacrament simply means a visible picture of an invisible reality. Communion is one of two ordinances or sacraments given to the church. The other is baptism.

Question 2: Who Should Take Communion?

This is made clear in the passage we just read. Jesus told his disciples he desired to share this bread and this cup with them, done in remembrance of him. So who should take communion? Those who have received Christ's broken body and blood to atone for their sins.

Those who have turned from their sins and trusted in Christ are the ones to take communion, showing that they are part of the body of Christ and that they are eagerly awaiting his return, when he will once again partake of the fruit of the vine in the marriage supper of the Lamb.

Question 3: How Should Communion Be Taken?

We are given specific instructions on this in Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, specifically 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verses 17 through 34. This is a longer passage, but I want to read it in full because context matters:

But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part, for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized. When you come together, it is not the Lord's supper that you eat. For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal. One goes hungry, another gets drunk. What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not. For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world. So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another (if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home) so that when you come together it will not be for judgment. About the other things I will give directions when I come.

In this whole section, Paul is giving instructions on the Lord's Supper. In the early church, it was more of a communal meal, not just one small wafer and a sip of juice. Paul says some come just to fill their bellies; others come and get drunk; some are excluded from this meal who should not be. And so he instructs them to take the cup and the bread in remembrance of the death of Jesus, and to take it in a worthy manner. Each person is supposed to examine themselves, making sure they are not walking in unrepentant sin before the Lord or before one another.

From this passage, we learn two things about how communion is to be taken.

First, the Lord's Supper is to be taken communally. It was not given to us to take alone in our houses by ourselves. I remember being so grateful for this conviction during COVID, when we were having church on Zoom. Our pastor said, "Communion is something meant to be done as the body of Christ physically present together. We're not going to do that until we are able to meet together again." He took seriously what is outlined in Scripture: this is a meal shared with the body of Christ, because you are being reminded of the broken body and shed blood of Christ and his death that has reconciled you to him and to his body here on earth.

Second, the Lord's Supper is to be taken in a worthy manner. We are to ensure that we are honoring one another and that we are not harboring unconfessed sin, not walking in unrepentant sin before God or before others. This does not mean we must be perfect. I remember growing up and sometimes worrying, "What if I did something three days ago that I cannot even remember?" We can trust that when we ask God's Spirit to reveal any unconfessed sin in our lives, that is his job. The Holy Spirit's role includes convicting us of sin. If we have sincerely asked him to reveal anything we are harboring and he does not reveal something, we can move forward with confidence. But we do need to ask that question and examine our own hearts.

Question 4: What Do These Biblical Truths Reveal About Communion and My Children?

One thing is very clear: our children should not participate in the Lord's Supper until they have made a profession of faith and understand what it means to take communion in a worthy manner (meaning they are not walking in unconfessed, unrepentant sin). Our children need to have made a profession of faith and understand what it means to partake of the Lord's Supper in a worthy manner.

Beyond that clear biblical baseline, I have two thoughts to walk through. The first, I believe a fairly good biblical case can be made for. The second is more purely my own opinion.

Should Children Be Baptized Before Taking Communion?

The first thought: I think Christians will differ on this, so take it with a grain of salt. But I would encourage you not to let your children participate in the Lord's Supper until they have been baptized. Baptism is the other ordinance or sacrament given to the church, and it is the ordinance by which the local church proclaims to the world that this person is a follower of Jesus.

Let me show you why I think a biblical case can be made for this. In Matthew chapter 28, verses 18 through 20, Jesus says:

All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

Here Jesus commands his disciples to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them. So it is through baptism that the church proclaims: this person is a follower of Christ.

Several chapters earlier, before Jesus' death and resurrection, in Matthew chapter 16, verses 15 through 19, Jesus is speaking:

"But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

Peter makes this confession, and Jesus says that on this confession, that he is the Christ, he is going to build his church and give his disciples the keys to the kingdom. These disciples were the elders of the first churches. So how does the church proclaim to the world who is a disciple of Jesus? How do they loose the gates of heaven and declare that this person is part of the kingdom of God? It is through baptism.

I know not all Christians would agree with me on this, so take it with a grain of salt. But I think these passages make a biblical case that those who have not yet been baptized should not yet partake in the Lord's Supper. Baptism is the ordinance by which the local church proclaims to the world that this person is a follower of Jesus. And then, as this person is invited into that local fellowship through baptism, they can partake in the common table, the Lord's Supper, where the body of Christ remembers Jesus' death until he comes.

Why I Would Wait Until Age 12 (Personal Opinion)

This next part is purely my opinion. I am not making a biblical case. I am sharing what I would do if I had children, or if I found myself in that situation some other way. I am actually named in multiple people's wills to receive their children if both parents die, which I sincerely hope does not happen, so this is not entirely hypothetical. Take this for what it is: a personal conviction, not a biblical argument.

I would wait until a child is at least 12 years old before allowing them to participate in the Lord's Supper.

I want to be clear: I am not saying children cannot follow Jesus until they are 12. That is clearly unbiblical. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me." We are told to have the faith of a child to enter the kingdom of heaven. I came to know and trust Jesus as my Savior, turning from my sins and trusting in him, at six years old. I do not have any doubt that I was born again, made alive in Christ, at six. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth of Revive Our Hearts frequently shares that she came to know the Lord at four years of age. Scripture makes clear that children well under the age of 12 can come to know Jesus.

The reason I recommend waiting until 12 is this: at young ages, it is genuinely difficult to discern whether a child has been made alive in Christ versus whether they are enthusiastically parroting what they have been taught at home. Both can look very similar from the outside. Scripture makes clear it is possible for a young child to be regenerate. But it is also very easy at these ages to mistake enthusiastic parroting for genuine faith.

Because participating in the Lord's Supper is not to be taken lightly, because it is a privilege, and because we are commanded in Scripture to ensure we are partaking in a worthy manner, I would hold off on letting a child participate in the Lord's Supper until they are at least 12.

Including Children at the Table While They Wait

If you hold a similar conviction, this does not mean you bar children from being present during the Lord's Supper. You are not barring them from the table; you are simply having them wait on taking the elements. And that waiting can become a beautiful teaching moment.

A lot of churches I know of, when the elements are distributed, encourage families to return to their seats and take the elements together. Many families, even when the children are not partaking, use that moment to teach. The parents hold up the bread and ask, "What does this represent?" The child answers: this represents Jesus' body broken for us, that Jesus was crucified on our behalf for our sins. Then the parent takes the bread. Then they hold up the cup and ask, "What does this cup represent?" The child answers: it represents Christ's blood shed for our sins. And when we are washed in Jesus' blood, when God looks at us, he does not see our sin; he sees the perfect righteousness of Jesus. Then the cup is taken.

Again, this is purely my personal opinion. I gave you my reasons, but take it with a grain of salt. This is not a biblical argument for a specific age. And as a reminder: the first thing I said at the beginning of this podcast is that you need to go to the elders of your church first. They are the ones you have submitted to in spiritual authority, and you should be listening to what they have to say about when children at your local fellowship are allowed to participate.

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