How to Talk with Kids About Drugs and Alcohol from a Biblical Perspective

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Hello friends! Today's podcast question is short and sweet: How do you talk with kids about drugs and alcohol from a biblical perspective? Yet even though this question is short and sweet, it sure is loaded. So it's an important one for us to think through.

I'm sure many of you listening and watching went through the DARE program if you grew up in the nineties or early two thousands and went to public school. However, there was a failure with the DARE program. Research found that kids who went through the program were actually more likely to engage with illegal drugs and underage alcohol use than those who did not. And now, believe it or not, the new recommended approach in an article that I read on NPR was to teach kids how to use recreational drugs in a way that is safe. I kid you not.

Now, this approach could potentially lead to fewer drug overdoses. However, it will ultimately fail just like the DARE program did because it fails to address the root problem.

So that's what we're going to talk about today: how can we get to the root problem from a biblical perspective to talk with our kids about the use of drugs and alcohol? That's the question we're going to dive down deep into today on the Foundation Worldview Podcast, where we seek to answer your questions so that you can equip the children that God has placed in your care to carefully evaluate every idea they encounter and understand the truth of the biblical worldview. I'm your host, Elizabeth Urbanowicz, and I'm thrilled that you've joined me for another episode today.

The Biblical Framework: Creation, Fall, Redemption

Now, as we think about this question of how to talk with our kids about drugs and alcohol from a biblical perspective, I think that there are several things that we need to do. First, we need to focus on God's design. We need to talk with our kids about how all that God designed is inherently good. Genesis 1:31 says, "And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day." All God has made is good.

The second thing we need to do is discuss the impact of the fall. We need to talk with our kids about how the fall of mankind cut down our relationship with God. It cut down our relationship with one another, and it even cut down our relationship with ourselves. We see this in the third chapter of Genesis.

Genesis 3:6-13 says:

"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, 'Where are you?' And he said, 'I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.' He said, 'Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?' The man said, 'The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.' Then the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is this that you have done?' The woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'"

In this passage we see Adam and Eve rebelling against God, and immediately their eyes are opened and their relationship with one another is cut down. Immediately they hide from one another and put fig leaves over themselves. Then when God approaches them, we see that their relationship with God has been cut down because they hide from God. And then when God asks them the truth about what happened, we see even their relationship with themselves—their understanding of who they are—has been cut down because rather than admitting and confessing what they've done, they shift the blame.

So we can talk with our kids about how, because we've all inherited Adam and Eve's sin, we are now all trying to solve this emptiness that we feel from having these relationships cut down by filling it with different things that can never truly satisfy.

The third thing we need to do is explore how Jesus redeems us from the fall. We need to talk with our kids about how Jesus bore the full weight of God's wrath toward our sin on the cross and he rose again to new life that we might be reconciled to God, reconciled to one another, and even reconciled to a correct understanding of ourselves. Ephesians 1:7-10 says:

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."

God did not just leave us here stuck in our sins. He sent his only son Jesus to redeem us.

So we want to use this lens of creation—focusing on God's good design—the fall—discussing the impacts of the fall—and then redemption—exploring how Jesus redeems us from the fall—when talking with our kids about drugs and alcohol. We want to talk with them through this lens of creation, fall, redemption.

Step One: Focus on God's Good Design

First, let's look at how we can focus on God's good design when starting the conversation about drugs and alcohol with our kids. As I mentioned before, we want to talk about how all that God designed in creation is inherently good. Everything that we find is inherently good.

Psalm 104:14-15 says:

"You cause the grass to grow for the livestock and plants for man to cultivate, that he may bring forth food from the earth, and wine to gladden the heart of man, oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man's heart."

So we can talk with our kids about what truths are revealed in this verse. It reveals that God causes the grass to grow so that animals can be fed. God causes other plants to grow so that man can bring forth food from the ground. God has caused grapes to grow to provide wine for man. God has caused olives and other types of plants to grow so that we can get oil. God has caused wheat and other types of grains to grow so that we can have bread. We need to talk about how God designed the earth to provide good things because God's creation is inherently good.

Step Two: Discuss the Impact of the Fall

The second part is discussing the impact of the fall. We need to help our kids see that every part of creation has been affected by the fall. I think a great passage to take our kids to is Romans 8:20-22, which says:

"For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now."

We can ask our kids what truths this passage reveals, and this passage reveals that things that God designed to be good are now under the curse of sin. So we can connect this back to the previous passage in Psalm 104 to say, "Okay, God designed wine. God designed alcohol to be a good gift that Psalm 104 says 'to gladden the hearts of men.' Yet now we are under the curse of sin. The whole world is under the curse of sin. So because of this, now alcohol can be used in a way that causes drunkenness."

If your kids don't know what drunkenness is, you can just explain that when people drink too much alcohol, it makes it so that their brains don't think clearly and their minds no longer have full control over their bodies. So people will say or do things that they would not have done if they were not under the control of alcohol—if they were not drunk.

Then we can explain about drugs. We can say from this passage in Psalm 104, God designed plants to be good. He designed them to provide food. He designed them to provide shade and sustenance for humans and for other animals. Yet under the curse of sin, now different plants and other chemical compounds can be turned into substances that cause humans not to think clearly. These are called drugs.

If your children are probably nine or older, you can talk with them about some specific types of drugs. If they're younger than nine, you can just say that sometimes these are pills that people take or sometimes they're things that people smoke. Similar to when somebody is drunk with alcohol, when somebody is using these types of drugs, these drugs make it so that their minds are not thinking clearly, and they might say or do things that they would never do if they weren't under the control of that substance.

Now, as your kids get older, you can start to talk through some more of the consequences and how addiction works. But I think just basically talking through the fact that these things that were designed to be good things—now humans turn and they use them as things that cause drunkenness or things that alter the way our brain chemistry works—is enough for basic conversations.

Then we want to talk with our kids about how while we are in this fallen, sinful state, our hearts often trick us into believing that we can be joyful and we can be content and we can have peace without God. A great passage to take kids to is Isaiah 53:6, which says:

"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way."

Talk about how apart from God's saving grace through Jesus, we're like wayward sheep who have turned away from our creator. We can talk about one of the ways that humans try to satisfy themselves without God is by turning to alcohol or drugs to dull the pain that they feel inside. These things were not designed to satisfy us, so they never will, and they can have incredibly dangerous effects.

We can talk with our kids about when a human becomes drunk or under the influence of drugs, we lose control of our ability to think clearly and the ability to control our body. This can lead to accidents; it can even lead to death. Then we can talk about how on top of this, many people become addicted. They become enslaved to drugs or alcohol so that their bodies actually need these substances.

So we want to help our kids see that the root problem here is not that just sometimes some people do things that they shouldn't do. No, the root problem is that we were designed for relationship with God, and it's only in a right relationship with God that we can have true joy and true contentment and true peace. But we humans in our fallen state are constantly trying to grasp for joy and contentment and peace in things that are not God—in things that were never designed to satisfy us. That is the root issue with drug and alcohol addiction: trying to replace God with a substance that was never designed to fulfill us.

Step Three: Explore How Jesus Redeems Us from the Fall

So then we want to go on to the third step to explore how Jesus redeems us from the fall. That's where we want to talk about how Jesus is the only one who can bring us true joy and true contentment and true peace.

Now, does this mean that once we're reconciled to Jesus, we feel happy all the time and all our problems are gone? No, that's a false gospel. That's a prosperity gospel. There are going to be many times that are going to be difficult and we're going to be suffering, and we're going to be wondering what God is doing. However, we can take our kids to Philippians 4:12-13, which says:

"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

We want to help our kids see that when we are reconciled to God, we're still going to struggle with things and life isn't going to be perfect. But because we were designed for God, it is only God who can give us that true and lasting joy and contentment and peace that can never be found in a bottle or a substance.

Making It Personal

Now, at this point, if you're talking with children who are nine or older, it would be appropriate for you to talk about your personal stance on alcohol—whether you choose to completely abstain from alcohol or whether you choose to partake of alcohol within the biblical limits of not becoming drunk. If your kids are eight or younger, you can choose to talk with them about it, but that's really a decision of whether or not you think it's appropriate at that age. But at some point, you're going to want to talk with your kids about the personal decision that you've made.

Talk through what Scripture says—that we're not to be drunk with wine, but we're to be filled with the Holy Spirit—and then ask if they have any questions. Because this is going to be a really new topic for them, and we want them to feel comfortable coming to us with their questions or their concerns at any time.

Making It an Ongoing Conversation

Another thing that's important to remember is that this conversation should not be a one-and-done conversation. This creation, fall, redemption paradigm that I walked us through—this is the opening conversation, but we're going to want to continue to come back to this conversation.

Anytime you're watching a show or a movie and you see someone who is using alcohol, you can have that conversation with your children. "What did we talk about? Where does alcohol come from?" Well, we know in Scripture that wine is a gift to gladden the heart of men. "How has that been affected by the fall?" Some people use it to try to fill the emptiness that only God is designed to fill, and when that happens, the person is actually engaging in idolatry and that's never going to satisfy them. And then again, you can talk about your personal stance on that.

Hopefully you're not watching any media where people are engaging in illegal drug usage. But if it comes up again, obviously you want to circle back to that conversation. You might see billboards talking about drugs. You can circle back with the conversation then. Especially as your kids reach the older ages of their childhood—10, 11, 12—you're going to want to talk more about this. But I just really encourage you to continue these conversations through the lens of creation, fall, redemption: what God designed to be good, how it's been corrupted by the fall, and how we are redeemed through Jesus.

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If this conversation has been helpful to you as a parent, I encourage you to join our Foundation Worldview email community. We regularly share biblical parenting insights, practical resources, and updates on new curriculum that can help you continue these important conversations with your children. You won't want to miss our upcoming resources on navigating difficult topics with kids from a biblical worldview. Sign up at FoundationWorldview.com to stay equipped for the conversations that matter most.

Well, that's a wrap for this episode. But if you have a question that you would like for me to answer on a future Foundation Worldview podcast, you can submit that question by going to FoundationWorldview.com/podcast.

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As we leave our time together, my prayer for you is the same as always: that no matter the situation in which you and the children God has placed in your care find yourselves, that you would trust that God is working all things together for your good by using all things to conform you more into the image of His Son. I'll see you next time.