Loving God Above All Else: How to Explain It to Your Kids

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A parent recently asked:

"My kids ages eight through 12 struggle with the idea that we are to love God above all else, even family. It seems to be a bit of a stumbling block for them. We all fail to do this perfectly every day. I think it will take time and maturity for them to understand, but do you have any tips for discussion?"

This is a great question. I agree with the questioner that it is a concept that does take time and maturity for us to understand as believers, but I think there are very practical talking points we can walk through with our kids to help them understand what it means to love God above all else.

A Prayer Request That Stuck With Me

As I thought through this question, my mind went back to a story from, I think, my freshman year of college. I was attending a Sunday school class with adults probably in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. I remember one of the prayer requests someone shared. The person was co-parenting their children with their ex-spouse, and their ex-spouse was not a Christian. They said, "My spouse thinks that it's terrible that I'm called to love God even above my children. What do I do about this?"

I don't remember what answer was given in that Sunday school class, but I do remember that it stuck with me, because it made me think, "Man, what does it mean that we're supposed to love God above all else?" For this woman, does it mean that she neglects caring for her children out of her love for God?

This is a question I've actually thought through a lot over the course of my adult life, and I'm excited that we get to chat through it.

Where Does the Command to Love God Above All Come From?

The first thing we need to think through, and even talk through with our kids, is where this idea of loving God above all else comes from. We know that it's in Scripture, but a specific passage where we find it is Matthew 22:35–40:

And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22:35–40, ESV)

In this passage, Jesus is saying that these two commandments, the greatest to love God and the second greatest to love others, summarize all the Law and the Prophets. They summarize all the books of the Law in the Old Testament and all the prophetic books in the Old Testament. So Jesus is basically saying that these two commands, to love God and love others, summarize the Old Testament.

So first, we want our children to have a grounding in where this command comes from.

What Does It Look Like to Love God Above All?

Then I think we can ask them, "What would it look like to love God above all?"

Sometimes we think about our love for other humans and we think, "Well, if I love this friend so much, it means that maybe I have less love for this other friend." We tend to think of love in degrees, and we think, "If I love God above all, that means I'm not actually loving my family very much, or my friends very much."

But we want to think through biblically what it looks like to love God above all. I think this is summarized well in John 14:15, where Jesus is talking to his disciples:

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." (John 14:15, ESV)

We demonstrate our love for God by keeping his commandments, because when we do that, we're demonstrating a trust in him, that we care more about what he has to say than about our own desires. So we can talk with our kids about how loving God above all means obeying him. That's how we show our love for God. It's demonstrated through our obedience.

What Commands Has God Given Us to Obey?

The next talking point we can think through is this: What are the commands God has given us that we are to obey?

Covering this exhaustively would take days, perhaps weeks, so especially in this short podcast, we are not going to cover nearly all of the commands God has given us. But to start off with our kids, I think we can ask two different questions. First, what commands has God given us for family relationships? And then, what commands has God given us for the family of God, our church family? You can start off by looking at those two areas.

God's Commands for the Family

Again, we're not going to cover this exhaustively. We work really hard to keep this podcast under 20 minutes. But there's one passage of Scripture we can take our kids to that looks specifically at family relationships. It's a longer passage, Ephesians 5:22–6:4:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22–6:4, ESV)

Then we can ask our kids, "What truths are revealed about what God has commanded within the family?"

From this passage, we learn that wives are called to submit to and respect their husbands. Husbands are called to love their wives in the same sacrificial way that Christ has loved the church. Children are called to obey their parents, and parents are called not to provoke their children to anger.

Then you can think through what this would look like if a family obeyed all of these commands out of their love for God. What would it look like if a wife submitted to and respected her husband? If a husband continually, self-sacrificially loved his wife? If children consistently obeyed their parents? If parents were intentional about not provoking their children to anger? What would this love for God, this obedience to his commands, look like in the family? It would be amazing. This would be an amazing family life.

You can talk with your kids about how, if we truly love our family members, we are going to be doing these things. What God calls us to in order to love him actually looks like loving our family really well.

God's Commands for the Church Family

Then you can move the conversation to the commands God has given for the family of God, the local church. I think a great passage of Scripture to take our kids to is Colossians 3:12–17. Similar to what we talked about with the family, this is not exhaustive, but it is a helpful passage to go through:

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:12–17, ESV)

Then we can ask our kids, "What commands are revealed here that we're to exercise within the family of God?"

There are so many. We're supposed to be compassionate, kind, humble, meek, and patient. We're supposed to bear with one another, forgive one another, and love one another. We're supposed to let Christ's peace rule our hearts. We're supposed to sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to one another. We're supposed to teach and admonish one another. We're supposed to give thanks for all things.

Talk about what it would look like if everyone in our church lived this out, if they loved God through obeying his commands in this way. It would look amazing. We would have so little conflict in our church. We would have so much joy. We would have so much unity in our church.

And talk about how loving God means obeying his commands. When we obey the commands he's given us within the family of God, that leads us to genuinely love our brothers and sisters in Christ.

A Cultural Lie About Love

If we take this approach with our kids, we're helping to combat a cultural lie. A lot of times, when we think, "I'm supposed to love God more than I love others," we think, "I'm supposed to have certain feelings toward God."

Now, love does involve affections, and so we should be praying that God would stir the affections of our hearts toward him. However, love involves so much more. As we've seen, our love for God is demonstrated in our obedience to his commandments, and his commandments for us lead to loving others.

Why Would God Command Us to Love Him Above All?

To wrap this conversation up, we could ask our children, "Why would God command us to love him above all?" I think there are several answers to this question.

God Alone Is Worthy of Our Worship

First, God is the only one who is truly worthy of our worship. God is the only one who is perfect, who is holy. He's exalted and set apart. And so he is the only one who is truly worthy of worship.

God Is Our Designer

Another answer to this question is that God is our designer. He's the one who created us, and he knows what is best for us.

Those of you who have taken your children through our God's Good Design curriculum here at Foundation Worldview know that the first eight lessons in that curriculum cover what design is, what a designer's relationship is to that design, how designers always understand their design best, and how it's always best when a designer's design is followed. God is the one who designed us. He knows what is best. And God's design always leads to flourishing.

Those of you who have taken your children through the updated version of our Comparative Worldview curriculum, the one we just released in the summer of 2026, know that one of the main themes in that curriculum is that true worldview ideas lead to flourishing. God has revealed the truth to us, and when we follow his design, that leads to flourishing.

You can talk through with your kids how placing love for anyone else above love for God is idolatry, and it actually leads away from flourishing. It leads to great harm. When we obey God, have our loves rightly ordered, and love him above all, that's naturally going to lead to a healthy, self-sacrificing love for others. Whereas if we put any person or thing above God, that's idolatry, and it's going to lead to great harm.

Personal Examples You Can Share

When you're talking with your kids, you can give them personal examples. I'll give you a few here.

I can see this in my own life. At times when I have placed a family member or a friend or some other relationship ahead of my relationship with God, that relationship has been very, very unsatisfying, because I have been looking to that person to meet certain needs in my life that only God was designed to meet. Whereas when I am looking to God first and foremost to meet my needs, and I am obeying his commands, then in my relationships with others I'm not just looking to take. I'm looking to be obedient to God and to give to that person.

I've seen this in so many different areas of life, and I'm sure most of you have as well. I saw it particularly after I graduated from college. This is something I think my parents have always done very well: not placing me or my brother or my sister, as children, above their relationship with God. Because my parents have kept that rightly ordered, primarily loving God, then loving one another, then loving us as kids, and then loving everyone else, they have been able to truly love us in a way that leads to flourishing. They haven't tried to hold on to us. They haven't put unrealistic expectations on us.

I remember, after graduating from college, looking around and seeing that certain friends of mine had really burdensome and unhealthy expectations put on them by their parents, because their parents had placed them above God. These were friends whose parents put a lot of pressure on them to move back close to home, or to call them a certain number of times during the week, or just to do certain things. And I saw how my parents had kept their loves rightly ordered, and the freedom and the flourishing that led to, both in their lives and in mine.

Similarly, I'm sure many of you have seen this in different people's marriages. I'm not married and I don't have children, but as I watch other marriages, I see that usually the healthiest marriages are those where both individuals are placing their love for God above all. Do these people have perfect marriages? No. We're still fallen, we're still sinful. But they're not placing on their spouse an expectation to meet needs that only God can meet.

Conversely, I've watched a lot of married couples or married individuals have really high expectations for their spouse, because they have placed their spouse above God and are going to their spouse to have all their needs met. And it just leads to conflict and division within marriage.

God's Commands Are Not Burdensome

So we really want to help our kids see that God is our designer. He knows what is best for us, and following his ways, obeying his commandments, and putting him first in our lives leads to flourishing. Whereas seeking to place anything above God leads away from flourishing. It's idolatry. It doesn't align with how we were designed.

That's what we want to help our kids see: God has given us his commands, and his commands are not burdensome. And when we truly love him above all else, all of our other loves will be rightly ordered and will lead to flourishing.

If you'd like a resource that helps your kids see why true worldview ideas lead to flourishing, our Comparative Worldview Curriculum is designed for kids ages 8 and up. You can also sign up our newsletter.

As we leave our time together, my prayer for you is that no matter the situation in which you and the children God has placed in your care find yourselves, you would trust that God is working all things together for your good by using all things to conform you more into the image of his Son.